Lithium
by IllusiveNocturne
Summary: Are you in touch with all of your darkest fantasies? Have you created a life for yourself where you can experience them? I have. I am crazy...but I am free. LevixOC(ish)
1. Chapter 1

_Do you know what's worth fighting for - when it's not worth dying for? _

_Does it take your breath away and you feel yourself suffocating?_

_Does the pain weigh out the pride and you look for a place to hide? _

_When you're at the end of the road and you lost all sense of control; your thoughts have taken their toll_

_when your mind breaks the spirit of your soul _

_Your faith walks on broken glass and the hangover doesn't pass  
Nothing's ever built to last, you're in ruins_

_When it's time to live and let die and you can't get another try  
Something inside this heart has died_

_you're in ruins  
_

* * *

**CHAPTER 1 **

It always seemed to rain when bad things happened, or were going to happen – an omen, perhaps an apology for the events taken place. How any sane person could find it soothing or beautiful was beyond her; it only seemed to cause her body to ache, almost to an annoying state. Stretching hurt, moving hurt, breathing hurt...

...Being alive hurt..

Rain only seemed to bring her darkest thoughts to the front of her mind, the memories of a bitter past clawing their way back up to the surface like hungry zombies. She couldn't run from them, but pushing and locking them in the back of her mind seemed to help keep her mental state stable enough. There were far more important tasks at hand – tasks that involved the lives of others. If she was stuck on what had already passed, how could she ever hope to save the future?

The pitter-patter of rain drops hitting the roof almost concealed the shuffling of sheets behind her, but her keen senses caught the movement quickly. Turning her head ever slightly, she watched silently as the man in the bed began to stir and groan. He must have felt the pain of the rain as well.

She gently closed the book she hadn't been reading and stood from her chair in front of the window. Putting on a kind smile, she walked to the man's bedside, his one uncovered eye looking at her in wonder.

"Welcome back."

"W-Where am I? What happened?" The man questioned wearily.

She frowned but proceeded to lift his head ever so slightly to give him a sip of water for his inevitably dry throat. "They said there had been a fight between you soldiers and some street thugs. You seem to have sustained the most damage, I'm afraid."

He gave a brief nod, "I see."

"You're lucky I was still in the area," she continued with a sigh. "The medics here are more talk than anything. They were ready to leave you for dead."

The man's unbandaged eye widened. "Then everyone else...?!"

"Awake, moving, and back on duty as of last week."

"Have I had any visitors?"

"I have been watching you closely," she responded lightly, avoiding the direct question. "I have asked for there to be no visitors, you've needed constant rest and care."

He seemed to accept the lie in relief.

"How are you feeling – any intense pain anywhere?" she put a hand to his forehead.

He shook his head. "No, not too bad honestly."

She nodded, albeit a bit disbelievingly. Men were always trying to act tougher than they actually were. "Allow me to get you some food, you must be famished."

The soldier grabbed her arm as she was walking away, a small blush on his cheeks. "May I ask your name, miss?"

She smiled. "Adelina Smith."

"T-The Angel of L-Life?!"

"That nickname is growing tiresome," she sighed, flipping a long blonde braid over her shoulder. "I do my duty as a medic, and I am treated as some god."

"Miss Adelina?" A voice interrupted from the doorway,

Humming in response, she set her gaze on the two young men standing in front of her. Both held copper hair, matching brown eyes, and freckles along their noses. "Squad leader Owen has sent a messenger and letter for you, he says its urgent."

"I see," she replied solemnly, knowing all too well that bad news was among them. "Please watch over my patient, and make sure he is given proper care while I am gone."

They simultaneously saluted. "Yes ma'am!"

* * *

Closing the door behind her, Adelina took a seat behind her desk and folded her hands neatly on the smooth wooden surface. Her green eyes remained on the young soldier in front of her, whom looked just about ready to urinate in his trousers. "I'm slightly offended... Does my appearance scare you enough to quiver in your boots?"

The man straightened his spine and widened his eyes as a flush came to his face. "N-No! Not at all!" He waved his arms in front of him animatedly, "It's just, I'm sitting in front of you...and you're, well, you."

"Me?" she raised an eyebrow, holding in a smirk that was creeping through.

"Uh, Commander Smith's sister, and Captain Owen's apprentice, and medic...and-"

"I'm just teasing," she laughed, waving her hand in dismissal. "I'm nothing special, it is all titles, really. Speak to me as an equal, I'm not some horrid higher-up that will make you run laps for breathing incorrectly."

The soldier let out a large breath of air. _ He had been holding his breath this entire time, _she thought with a mental sigh.

Clearing his throat, he reached into his pocket and revealed a letter from within. He set it softly in front of her hands as the room grew cold with seriousness. This is what he had come here to do. She ripped the official seal with a letter opener and began to scan the words etched into the paper. Her brow furrowed with each passing moment, and after completing the first letter, she picked up the second, only to smash it between her fist in anger.

_17 soldiers...17 lives lost – lives that I could have saved. Erwin, you idiot! What were you thinking sending so many into unchartered territory?! _

"M-Ma'am?"

She slammed her hand to the table, effectively cutting the soldier off. "Your job is complete. Tell them I will be back to base camp in a week's time."

"Roger!" he stood to his feet and gave an official salute before marching out of the room.

With the click of the door shutting, she grabbed a paper weight and chucked it at the wall, causing a rather ugly dent and loud boom to echo throughout the room. There just hadn't been enough time to effectively train her subordinates in the proper medical care, let alone fighting on the battle field. It was unfair, but it seemed to be the cards dealt. Training would have to continue, and at a more rigorous pace.

She refused to have their blood on her hands.

The week had passed much too quickly for her liking – and while the twins, Klaus and Lukas, were more than excited to finally be apart of the scouting squad and see some action, she dreaded the upcoming battles. Each one cost 30% of the troop's lives, and those normally consisted of the unprepared and new cadets.

It was annoying, but required in the larger scheme of things. She was coming back with two apprentices, three less than anticipated, but one more than expected. At least they were quick learners, even if they tended to joke around like children.

Slipping on her boots, Adelina marched out to the stables to ready her horse. The large black stallion whinnied loudly as his anticipation grew tenfold. He hadn't been ridden like normal, and she could tell he was quite agitated. Hushing and cooing the equine, she quickly lifted the heavy saddle onto his back while standing on a stool, loud snickers quickly catching her off guard. She glared back at the two men, their horses already saddled and gearing to leave.

"How does one so small, control such a large beast?"

"Perhaps it knows how scary she can be?"

"Hmm, very true. It can be quire terrifying if I do say so."

"A thing of nightmares, really."

"Much worse than-" a loud thud was heard. "Ow! What the hell?!"

Blitzkrieg trotted by the two, his blonde rider showing a proud smirk as they passed. "Next time I'll be sure the pale is full of water."

Lukas rubbed his head in pain as his brother snickered loudly. "How can she be so sweet at times, but so ruthless at others?"

Klaus shrugged his shoulders before kicking his horse and riding after their leader, his twin in tow. The town they had come to know whizzed passed them in a blur as they moved quickly, rushing to get to their new home before the inevitable rain fall. They had noted upon first meeting their mentor, rain was something she didn't enjoy, and in fact tried to avoid at all costs. It was odd to see someone loathe a form of weather so much, but after happening upon her naked torso – in a very honest mistake, even if she claims otherwise – they realized why it could be. She had always mentioned aching during those times, and with the amount of scars on her body, they weren't surprised.

Scarring was going to happen in their line of work, it was just the nature of things, however, they could have never imagined the amount of it on the body of such a frail looking woman. She was petite in stature, yet curved like a woman should be. Her hair was slightly passed her shoulders and blonde, mostly kept in a loose braid over her shoulder unless tightly bunned on the back of her head for battle. She was pretty, her bright green eyes surrounded by thick lashes, just barely touching the even fringe on her forehead. Her nose was dainty, and her lips plump; the similarities between the two Smith siblings was almost creepy.

"We will be arriving shortly," Adelina started, her soft voice just a tad higher than the wind. "I am to report to my commanding officer, but I have been told that you two will be escorted to your new quarters."

Klaus and Lukas looked to each other, than to the woman riding a few paces in front of them. "And when that is finished?"

"Do what you must – explore, eat, make friends. Consider this your miniature vacation before real training begins."

"Real training?" they both questioned simultaneously. What had the last two months been, if not that?

"You have both caught on quickly enough to the medical side of things, but you can not forget that you are still soldiers of the survey corps. Your bodies and minds must be trained daily in order to carry out successful missions in titan territory," she turned her head ever slightly to look at them with a somber expression. "it is life or death for us, and while I promise to keep you as safe as possible, I can not guarantee your lives if you are not sufficiently trained or prepared for what is outside these walls."

They seemed to understand the severity of her voice, for they didn't question or add a joke to their responses. Instead, they remained quiet and thoughtful as the large gated fortress opened for the riders to enter, Commander Erwin stood center with a small smile on his lips. "Welcome back, Adelina," he turned his blue eyes to the two young men behind her. "And welcome to your new home, Klaus and Lukas Berthold."

The twins quickly jumped to their feet and saluted their superior. "Thank you for the opportunity, commander!"

Erwin waved his hand in dismissal, "Thank Lina, here. She is the one whom recruited you." he turned to his sister and held out his elbow so that she could link arms with him. "The stables are to your right. Give your horses to whomever is working today, and then report back here, your guide should be waiting for you by then."

Once again, the two saluted the man as he turned around and began walking towards the large building, dreading the conversation to come.

* * *

Her boot tapped the floor repeatedly in agitation, her whole body feeling tense from the anger swimming through her veins. Erwin knew she was upset, but chose to ignore the volatile nature of his younger sister for the time being. It had not been his intention to cause so many casualties on their last expedition outside Wall Maria, but he also could not have known the titans movements or thought processes either. Being in the Survey Corps normally meant imminent death, and those that had perished had been new recruits, not yet adjusted to seeing titans first hand.

He felt bad about the loss of life, but it was his job to send out teams in order to reclaim land. They were replaceable, however, his senior soldiers were not even half as expendable. Choosing the new recruits over experienced ones meant that the casualties would be greater, but there wouldn't be a huge hit to his branch's elite. The ones capable of saving humanity.

"I did what was best at the time," he continued with a sigh, "Captain Owen was there and did what he could to save those that were able to be saved."

"Yes, but if I had been here you wouldn't have been half as reckless!"

Erwin slammed his hand on his desk, "Dammit Adelina! You can't save every life, you can't live in this fantasy world where no one gets hurt and we all come home to our families!"

She closed her mouth and looked to her lap, embarrassed and hurt by her brother's words. He seemed to bite his tongue in regret before moving to speak again, but she had already stood from the chair and had her hand on the handle of his office door. With her back still turned, she replied softly, "I know it is your job to send soldiers to their death, but it is my job to make sure they come home alive."

The click of the door signaled her departure and the end of their conversation. Erwin rubbed his temples and released a sigh. This was not how he wanted to welcome her home.

Walking down the long empty corridor reminded her that lunch was being served in the cafeteria, and that if she didn't hurry, all desserts would be gone. Groaning loudly, she made to jog towards the adjacent building in hopes of getting at least one slice of cake; the sweet baked good would be the only thing to calm her nerves and make her feel better about the last 15 minutes. She was a soldier, but she was also still a woman – a woman who loved her sweets to a fault.

With a swift push through the large doors, she glanced at all the other soldiers already chatting and munching away at their lunches. There were many new faces, she noted mentally, from the looks on some of their young faces, she could tell which ones had been outside the wall, and which ones had probably lost comrades. Feeling the sadness overwhelm her once again, she tried to push the thought aside and made her way to the dessert trays.

"All...gone..." she whimpered quietly, tears threatening to leave their ducts. She didn't often feel so sorrowful and miserable, but there was only so many bad things that could happen before she lost her cool entirely and threw herself to the floor in a tantrum.

That is, until she spotted a certain black haired soldier with a large piece of chocolate cake next to his tray of food.

Sliding into the bench directly across from him, she leaned forward with a large smile and her chin resting on her palms. "Levi~!" The man continued to curtly eat his meal without looking up or replying, causing her to instantly frown. "Are you honestly going to ignore me after two months of my absence?"

"You're only here for the cake," he stated without missing a beat. "Have you gotten stupider in your time away – or perhaps just lazy in your thought process, pig?"

She gave an indignant huff before retorting, "Neither, I just simply assumed you would have grown up a bit and allowed for friendly conversation."

"Now I know you have grown more idiotic. Since when have we ever held a friendly conversation, Doctor Dumbass?"

"Fine, I suppose this gift will have to go to waste," she pulled out a fairly large bottle of very expensive whiskey, dangling it in front of his face. "Some man gave it to me in gratitude for saving his son, but I'm not much of a whiskey drinker. He mentioned something about it being the best inside Wall Sina,"

At this, Levi turned his eyes toward her.

"And here I was thinking I could bring it back to you as a token of peace," she continued, pulling it back toward herself and further from the man's reach. "but since I am Doctor Dumbass, I'm sure Erwin will enjoy the gift more than some ungrateful brat like yourself."

"You're a bitch." he replied evenly, causing her to smirk at his inevitable defeat. If there was one thing she had learned, it was that Levi loved his liquor and could never pass up something so expensive and valuable.

"You really know how to seduce a woman, Levi. How is it possible for you to still be unmarried?"

He closed his eyes in agitation before re-opening them and sliding her his dessert. Squealing in delight, she quickly picked up the fork on the plate and took a large portion of the cake in her mouth before sliding him the bottle of liquor. "I would have still given you the whiskey, you know."

"I wasn't planning on eating the cake anyway, I'm not a fan of old food from the garbage."

She gagged, her stomach suddenly turning queasy, "You didn't!"

Levi gave a small smirk before grabbing the bottle by the neck and swiftly standing to his feet and walking to the door. But not before turning back to look at the squirming woman, "Idiot, did you really think you'd ever get one step ahead of me?"

With that the door closed behind him, leaving her to curse his name loudly.

* * *

Adelina sat in her office that was adjacent from the infirmary, her concentration completely on the writing in front of her. The pen moved slowly against the paper as she hummed softly to herself. There was no one waiting to be seen, and the beds inside were all empty of patients; Cristoff Owen had made sure all wounded were fixed and back to training before her arrival so that she could teach her underlings with a new set of hurt soldiers.

As a child, she would have never assumed her life to be the way it was now. She had dreams, aspirations, all revolving around her mother's – the woman who should have been around to shape her daughter into the perfect sister, baker, wife...mother.

"_I was always an unusual girl. My mother told me I had a chameleon soul, no moral compass pointing due north, no fixed personality; just an inner indecisiveness that was as wide and as wavering as the ocean..."_

It had been many years since the death of Hilde Smith, but her memories of the beautiful blonde haired woman were the most vivd images in her mind. It was unfair for a girl to grow up without that kind of figure in her life, but it was almost unbearable to lose both parents during a time when she was just figuring out who she was. Granted, she had Erwin who had taken care of her as a parent would, but while writing the words, she couldn't escape her memories of the past. This would be for him to see, for anyone who even slightly cared about her to see...

Her last will and testament.

"_I had nothing, I wanted everything, with a fire for every experience and an obsession for freedom that terrified me to the point that I couldn't even talk about it, and pushed me to a nomadic point of madness that both dazzled and dizzied me." _

She had no idea who she was, who she was meant to be. Everyday felt like a new mask as she interacted with her daily life, unsure of most things. She had medicine and science, those were the only constants in her life. The only things that seemed to change with her. However, human connection was what she craved most, yet was the single thing she pushed away with every fiber of her being.

A soldier is never guaranteed tomorrow, and she had lost too many people in her life to want to willingly go through the pain once more. She had comrades, acquaintances, patients...but she never truly connected with them on a personal level. Her gift was deceit, and that was the greatest tool of survival.

She felt absolutely fucking crazy.

Yet, writing down her innermost thoughts seemed to be the only thing that made sense. There was no fixed personality for Adelina Smith, she was a wild mustang that couldn't be controlled. In her own way, she was free, and still so restrained.

"Oi, you'll freeze out any remaining brain cells if you don't close the window."

Blinking away her thoughts, she slammed the pen down in shock as she looked to the doorway to see Levi leaning casually against the doorframe. Registering his words, her body suddenly shivered as she looked behind her to see the window she had opened upon entering the room. The weather had been growing colder with each passing day, but she couldn't stand the stuffiness of the office otherwise.

"Right..." she absentmindedly replied while turning to pull the glass shut. "What are you doing here?" she asked tersely with a small glare.

He gave no elicit answer as he walked into the room and sat down on one of the chairs in front of her desk, the bottle of whiskey slamming loudly against the smooth wood. She raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to do or say something more.

"Do I have to spell it out for you?" he sighed while opening the top. "I'm not going to drink this all by myself like some alcoholic. You gave it to me, so you are going to drink it with me."

She scoffed, "I have more important matters to-"

"Bullshit," he interrupted, pouring some of the liquid into a glass. "You just returned, your reports are already in. Doodling does not count as important matters."

"It's not doodling!" she cried, before having a glass shoved in her face.

"Shut up..." he took a sip of his own drink.

She sighed in defeat while grabbing the papers and stuffing them into the top drawer, locking it when closed. Holding up the glass to her lips, she took a small sip, the liquid instantly warmed her throat, and then stomach, surprisingly going down like water. "It's sweet..."

"It should be, if it's the 'best of the best'."

Green eyes locked on the man in front of her, who was looking around the room in mild disgust, probably thinking about how dirty the floorboards were. He was strange, their relationship was strange...she didn't know what to consider him in all honesty. They had been rivals since first meeting, but over time they had grown to at least respect one another on their own personal levels. Be it calling one another names, or being rude; he was one of the few enigmas in her life, and she wondered if it was the same for him.

They would never admit to being anything other than comrades, but that human connection was present when he was around. Like a moth to a flame, he attracted her innermost humanity in a way that made her both calm and insane. He made her contradict every personality flaw.

"I feel like you're secretly trying to poison me for finally outranking you."

"Welcome back, Idiot."

* * *

**A/N:** _Hello readers! I'd like to make a few notes here, to sort of express my thought process, I suppose. _

_This story takes place before the beginning of the show/manga, and given that not much is known about what happened during this time, it gives me a lot of free reign to do what I please without having to make this "AU", or get complaints about it not following the storyline correctly. I actually only plan on making this 10 chapters maximum, as the ending is already fleshed out in my overactive mind. _

_As far as the characters go, I want to try and keep them in character as much as possible, which may take a few chapters of getting a feel for them. The main character, Adelina is growing on me. As we progress, I want to show more of her unstable side in a way that seems fitting of a true soldier. As most of the characters have had pretty messed up pasts, I think it is interesting to show someone who has been physically and mentally affected by everything in a way a real soldier would be. Hence, the title of the story. Lithium is used to medicate those with mental and psychological problems, and with her being a doctor, I feel it would be interesting to finally see someone try to cope with the daily pressures of life and living with PTSD/BIPOLAR/IDENTITY CRISIS/ SCHIZOPHRENIA._

_I hope this can be enjoyable to you all as it is for me to write. __Feedback is welcomed and very appreciated! _


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

She never dreamed. Perhaps it was the way her brain had been wired, or that she overworked her mind so much during the day that it was the only time it could truly shut down. Either way, black unconsciousness was all she tended to see during those hours of slumber, for which she was grateful for. The permanent feeling of fatigue caused her to crave that ethereal feeling more often than was healthy, yet she couldn't be bothered to care about the effects of oversleeping. If no one was to wake her up, she would spend the entire day in bed dozing or simply being lazy.

However, there were times where she couldn't sleep, the over indulgence causing her body to remain hyperactive for a few days and forcing her to stay awake. It was in those times that she would drink herself into a stupor in order to black out and just rest. Being awake was miserable, especially for more than twelve hours.

Her slumber was interrupted as the sudden feeling of falling shocked and awoke her, just in time for her reflexes to take hold and push her hands out to catch the rest of her body from slamming into the hard floor. Her heart was beating erratically inside her chest as she tried to calm her breathing and wake up completely. Waking someone during the middle of their REM cycle was dangerous, but most people either didn't know or didn't care.

"Honestly, first night home and your already drunk and oversleeping." for this person, it was the latter.

"I'm not drunk," she winced while shakily standing to her feet. They were inside the infirmary, apparently the evening before she had passed out onto one of the beds instead of walking back to her quarters. "well, not anymore."

Cristoff Owen, captain of the rescue and medical unit, towered over her small form with his arms crossed and a very evident frown. He was generally an easy-going man, taking to her like a father to a daughter, but when he was mad...oh boy was he mad. Work came before play, and as a doctor himself, he took things seriously.

His light brown eyes stared holes into her head, "honestly Lina, I thought you'd take things a little more seriously now that you have been promoted to team leader and have pupils of your own."

She scoffed, "It was one night of drinking after a long two months of nothing but responsibility. I finished all the paperwork that was needing to be done, and I also organized and inventoried the supplies." noting his still disapproving look, she glanced down. "I'm sorry, I will take things more seriously, Captain."

He seemed to accept her answer, because instantly she was pulled into a tight embrace and twirled in circles. "I missed you my little progeny!"

"Please stop spinning me!" she gagged while trying to hold in her sick.

"Consider it punishment for drinking without me!" he roared with laughter while rubbing the back of his graying hair.

"You are an evil old man!" she cried before holding her stomach and running to the waste bin in the corner of the room. When finished, she rested her head on her forearm while still leaning over the bin. "Levi did this on purpose...I'm going to kick his ass."

Cristoff walked over to her while rubbing her back soothingly, "you two are the worst when together. Honestly, if the titans don't kill you, the other will."

She nodded her head slightly, "at least I know dozens of different ways to make his death look like an accident."

"I wouldn't normally condone using your knowledge for evil, but if it calls for it, I'd rather you be around than that little asshole."

At that she looked up at the older man in surprise, not used to hearing him joke about something like that.

"What?" he questioned in mock confusion. "You can be an asshole too, but you're my little asshole that at least knows respect when needed."

Adelina let out a soft laugh, "I like this version of you...did you finally get laid while I was away?"

He slapped the back of her head which caused her to yelp in pain. "Don't be so vulgar!" he embarrassingly rushed to the door while yelling back at her, "eat some food and be at the training field in half an hour!"

"I'm taking that as a yes!" she called back before pushing off the bin and moving to the wash bin in the far corner. Cupping her hands and dunking them in the cool water, she brought her face closer to the water before splashing it over her face. Her head still felt over pressured and the light hurt her eyes, but she could admit that this was one of the nicer hangovers in her years. Expensive alcohol was definitely nicer in all aspects, as opposed to the garbage they normally got from town.

* * *

Upon entering the dining hall, she immediately wanted to retreat back to the safety and quietness of her quarters. Everyone was so loud and animated for it being so early in the morning. Grabbing a plate, a piece of bread, and cup of coffee, she looked around in boredom and slight agitation before spotting just the person she was looking for.

Sitting daintily across from him, she gave the best glare she could muster. If he was hungover, he definitely wasn't showing it as he sipped the black coffee from his mug while giving her an annoyed expression.

"You look like shit." Levi stated.

She rolled her eyes as she took a bite from her roll, "at least it is only after I drink excessively. You, on the other hand," she gave a smirk, "have to live with that ugly face every day."

His brow gave a miniscule twitch, but he said nothing else. Realizing that he wasn't going to bicker and play along with her, she stuffed the rest of the bread in her mouth and washed it down with the sweetened coffee. Leaving her dishes on the table, she stood to her feet and strolled to the door of the dining hall, giving a small glance back to see his face contorting in rage at the mess she had just left.

Tally that one for a win.

With newfound energy and happiness, she skipped out the doors and hummed her way to the training fields. It was her first day as a team leader, and she was actually excited to see who she would be assigned, and how they would fit well with her new students.

It was a short walk, but she was almost proud of herself for making it just in time to see the entire squad lined up and saluting Cristoff. He gave her a side glance but remained stoic, trying his hardest to appear ruthless and professional. She had to mentally laugh.

Stepping beside him, she glanced at all the new faces in their ranks, surprised at the numbers before her. The Survey Corps weren't many recruits first choice due to the high mortality rate, and given that, with each new batch the numbers seemed to dwindle. This time, however, it seemed that they had more brave souls, ready to lay their lives on the line in order to help mankind.

Considering the squad they had chosen, that also meant they were smarter and stronger than the rest – minus the elite squad – which made training that much easier for the leaders. The rescue and medical unit was one of the more important ones of the Corps, being that it was they who would be saving those injured or in trouble on the field. They had to be able to fight and kill titans efficiently while also knowing basic medic healing in order to safely remove soldiers.

The majority only learned the essentials, such as resetting broken bones or bandaging wounds. Those who showed extra potential would be moved into a special course, in which they would have off-site medical training. They would be doctors.

Cristoff had been her teacher for years, and now it was her turn to step up and take a new batch of soldiers under her wing. She had been allowed to recruit her own from a different branch, and since she could only manage to reel in two, the other three were to be chosen from the squad and placed in her team.

" – and as such, I commend you all for the path you have chosen. For life to mean more than fear of the unknown," she was brought back to reality as he ended his speech, "we will now move you into your new teams, at which time your team leaders will take control and begin training!"

The soldiers banged their fists to their chests and waited patiently for Cristoff to dismiss them to look at the fliers on the side of the field so they could find their names, and then move to the correct teams.

Cheers and moans could be heard throughout the trainees, as Adelina watched the group carefully. Lukas and Klaus were of course walking toward her and waving enthusiastically, but aside from them she didn't see any others moving in her direction. Perhaps there weren't any good enough to begin the advanced training this time around?

"You seem so bored and lonely!" Klaus exclaimed with a large smile.

"Aren't there supposed to be more of us?" Lukas replied, his eyes glancing questioningly over to the dispersing group of soldiers. "I didn't really pay much attention to the names or who went where."

She sighed, "You have to be more observant about things."

"Shouldn't you know who's on your team?" he reiterated with a raised brow.

"I – uh," she sputtered in embarrassment, before barking back, "I'm your superior, you have to treat me with more respect!"

"A bit hard when you act like a child most of the time,"

"Why you – "

"Miss Smith?" Adelina stopped mid-complainy to look at who had spoken her name. There were three others standing before them, two females and one male. The one who had spoken stepped forward, her hands in the proper salute position. "Petra Ral, previous member of Squad 71!"

The girl was mousy, being only an inch or so taller than her with shoulder length amber hair and eyes. The other two were taller, the female sported a pixie cut and had black hair and blue eyes, while the male looked to be in shape, but not overly muscular with brown hair and dark blue eyes.

"Then you two are?"

"Hanna Wilde, ma'am!" The woman stepped forward and saluted.

"Mischa Yates!" the man followed suit.

The last two she had seen around the squad, seemingly perfect at everything they did. They were going to be a wonderful fit for her team, and hopefully able to snap the twins into shape before their first expedition outside the walls. Petra however, was a new face. Squad 71 was the more advanced soldiers that tended to go on solo missions; her small and fragile appearance was nothing but a ruse then, and being selected for medical training meant she was smart.

Yes, she mused, her team was absolutely perfect.

* * *

The first day had come with the basic formalities and getting to know their future teammates. Everyone seemed to get along well enough, though she was a bit put off at how serious Mischa and Hanna could be. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but she enjoyed conversing and teaching those who could be friendly and joke around with her.

She was a leader and their superior, but she didn't want to be like some of those hard-assed ones that only wanted to make emotionless robots. In their line of work they needed to have human emotions in order to think clearly, empathize, and get the job done correctly.

Petra was a quick learner and willing to do whatever was asked. She was also very sweet, and up for joking around with everyone, especially Lukas and Klaus. Her heart seemed to be in the right place, but Adelina wondered if she was more interested in titan killing.

Heaving a large sigh, the blonde woman lifted her hands in the air as she stretched out her aching muscles. The reports and transfer paperwork was almost complete, and with the signed waivers, she could officially begin training in the morning. Erwin had mentioned an expedition in the coming months, but he hadn't been precise about the actual date, which meant she had a short timeframe to begin the proper procedures of field rescue operations.

Already, the stress was beginning to fill her veins as she tried to relax her breathing. Doubt set into her mind. Would she be a good leader? Would her team survive their first mission? Was she ready to fill out death reports?

Biting her lip until she could taste the copper on her tongue was the only way to bring herself back to reality and to the matter at hand. Licking the small dribble of blood, she signed the last paper before looking to the clock on her desk.

1137

Shuffling the papers into a neat pile, she rubbed her tired eyes and walked out of her office. Her quarters weren't far from where she was, and thankfully she had already showered beforehand because she couldn't bring herself to now. The corridor was empty and silent, making for an almost eerie and lonely walk. Her mind began to play horrific scenes throughout the darkness, causing her to pinch the skin between her thumb and index finger so tightly that she let out a small whine.

Rushing into her room and slamming the door, she quickly discarded her uniform and threw on a simple shirt that acted like a gown on her small body. Looking around at the vacancy that was her room, she quickly pulled on a pair of clean pants and her boots, before grabbing a lantern and lighting it with a match. Heaving a deep breath to try and calm herself down, she opened the door, shutting it behind her and walking back down from where she had come from.

Being promoted meant that her dormitory was now close to the infirmary in case of any late night emergencies. It wasn't a horrible arrangement, and in fact, she actually liked being situated so close to everything work related – it kept her from wandering off and getting into trouble.

However, the only downside was that the other barracks were now further than she was used to, meaning she had to basically jog in order to escape the darkness that was attempting to engulf her. So, with quick steps she made her way outside and then back into another building, careful now to remain silent as her boots made contact with the hard floors.

"16...17...18..." she counted under her breath as she passed each door. Her eyes didn't dare look any further than the lit candle inside her lantern in fear of being grabbed by unseen entities; looking up only when she had reached the desired number, she reached a hand up to knock, but instead dropped it to the handle and pushed open the door.

Inside, there was already another lantern lit and sitting on a desk near the window as its occupant was bent over and shining their boots. She exhaled a sigh of relief as she quietly shut the door, set the lantern on the floor, and began to remove her own boots.

"You took longer than usual, I was starting to think that the monsters might have actually gotten you this time." Green eyes glared ferociously at the voice's owner, but said nothing as she removed her pants and folded them neatly next to her boots. "Your boots are disgusting, do you ever clean them you filthy pig?"

"I am too tired to do this tonight, Levi." she sighed. "If you want them clean, do it yourself."

"You forget that you are in my room, wench. You are a grown adult who can't stand being alone at night, how pitiful."

"And yet, you continue to stay up and wait for me every night." she countered brusquely while moving to sit on his bed.

He rolled his eyes, "don't flatter yourself, I have other things keeping me occupied this late into the evening. I couldn't care less if you appeared or not."

She didn't even have the energy to reply, because as soon as her head hit his pillow, his scent wafted through her nostrils and her heavy eyelids shut. Instantly she lost consciousness as her mind drifted into another place filled with nothing but black.

Levi looked up from his boots to see the woman curled up and sleeping on his bed, her curly blonde hair fanned out around her and her fingers close to her mouth made her look far younger than she actually was. It was during this time that he enjoyed her presence the most.

He would never admit to enjoying the company, but it seemed to be a mutual feeling for them both. It had happened sometime after the deaths of his street friends, if he recalled correctly, they had both lost important people during that mission, and so naturally in their weakened states, they clung to each other. The following morning they had parted as if nothing had happened, but after that, Adelina continued to find him during the nights and he accepted her companionship – albeit a bit begrudgingly at first – as a way of coping with his own bitter loneliness.

She seemed to find comfort in him, but it was never in a romantic way. Unlike other women who would be pining for the attention and milking the situation, she instead simply slept there at night and then left in the morning, continuing to argue and banter with him throughout the day as normal.

Adalina Smith was like several people wrapped up into one tiny explosive package. He was amazed at how easily she could fluctuate between moods and emotions, yet never seeming to linger on one thing for too long. Normally it was her way or no way, but he had found that during his years as a soldier only three people had been able to handle her obtuse behaviors: Erwin, Captain Owen, and now himself. It was those three people that she seemed to cling to the most, because no matter how bad she got, they were always there.

She was a tough soldier, but had the mentality of a child.

* * *

Her heart was racing inside her chest as the hands clawed at her skin. Their dead sunken eyes loomed over her screaming figure as they blamed her for their deaths, one by one, more of them appeared as they began to rip chunks of flesh from her body. The blood was everywhere, the pain too intense to even describe – she was being torn apart.

Suddenly, she felt her body fall and then hit a hard surface, causing her to instantly wake up in both terror and pain. Groaning loudly, she noted that she was now face up and on the floor, her back aching from the sudden drop and her skin sticky from what could have only been sweat. The night terrors had come back, and as normal, Levi used his comforting abilities to the max by pushing her off his bed.

"You are not coming back into my bed with your disgusting sweaty body." he chided as he looked down at her. He had quickly removed his bedding and sheets in disgust, and moving to a drawer to remove new ones, "Thanks to your horrid dreaming, I am now getting less sleep than intended and have to clean even more bedding. Get out."

She could see the sky begin to lighten from outside his window, meaning that it was close to dawn and safe to return to her own bed. Without so much as an apology or goodbye, she stealthily slipped on her pants and boots and left his room. The cool autumn air hit her skin, causing goosebumps to cover her arms and legs as she quickly jogged back into her barracks and up the stairs into her bedroom.

Feeling absolutely exhausted and not at all rested from her nightmare, Adelina, in her zombie-like state, simply fell onto her bed and back into a dreamless slumber.

What felt like only a few minutes ended up being a few hours as a loud banging on her door stirred her awake. She could hear Lukas on the other side yelling at her about being late to training, to which she grabbed her pillow and covered her head in hopes of drowning out the sound.

It must have been far past 0700 for him to be complaining, but she honestly couldn't be bothered to get up and begin the daily lecture when her body felt like it had been hit with a wagon. Instead, she turned her head slightly and called out, "training is being pushed back until after lunch! I expect you all to have written three pages on why it is important to stretch your muscles before any physical activity!"

She heard him groan, and complain about "lazy instructors," before walking back down the hallway, probably to tell his teammates the horrible news.

Figuring she had bought herself at least a few extra hours of sleep, she lifted her body to remove the pants and boots that were still on, only to pause upon noticing that something was off.

Her once dirty boots were now almost sparkling as if they were brand new.

"Clean freak," she laughed, while tossing them and her pants across the room before falling back into the comfort of her bed.

* * *

_A/N: I apologize for the shortness and lack of fluidity within this chapter! I'm in the process of moving, but wanted to get this out before I lost internet for a few days. I am thinking I'm going to stick with my original plan of this being a short story, since I already have most of the chapters fleshed out. Hopefully from here on out it will be more action packed and what-not. _

_Thank you for the follows and reviews thus far! I'm glad people are actually reading my writing...it helps knowing that you all want to read more. So review, review, review and give me fuel! : )_


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